Welcome to Boston, Kyrie! Here are the Flattest Boston Neighborhoods

Looking for the Flattest Boston Neighborhoods? Here are Three:

The trade between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Boston Celtics is now complete. And it looks like Kyrie Irving is finally on his way to Boston.

While we’re disappointed in the departures of both fan-favorite Jae Crowder and all-star (and one-time East Cambridge resident) Isaiah Thomas, we’re looking forward to what Irving can bring to the squad for the 2017-18 season — especially because Irving has, on a popular podcast with his teammates, mentioned that he believes the Earth to be flat. Unsurprisingly, that’s not a very widely held opinion in a city as dominated by scientific institutions as Boston is.

Of course, the first step for Kyrie is physically relocating from Ohio to Boston. While we understand that any 25-year-old in a high income bracket ($17.6 million salary this year) will have certain preferences for neighborhood, layout, and amenities, we thought we’d suggest a few areas in Boston that might make the new Celtics star feel even more at home — specifically, the flattest neighborhoods in Boston.

Kyrie's flat-earth theories might not fit in well in Boston

All Boston neighborhoods will welcome Kyrie. His flat earth theories, however, shouldn’t expect the same. By Orlando Ferguson [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

1. Back Bay

Beautiful brownstones, fashionable boutiques, expensive restaurants, and experimental theater. What’s not to love about Boston’s Back Bay? And with an elevation ranging from only three to thirteen feet above sea level, a young man walk around the neighborhood without compromising his belief in a flat earth.

A former tidal bay, for much of its history this area was only exposed as land at low-tide. At high-tide it was a submerged bay — a bay on the backside of the peninsula that housed most of downtown.

Over the past century and a half, the neighborhood became buildable through damming the Charles River and filling in former swamps.

Back Bay Moving Company - Boston Neighborhoods

Cambridge, Back Bay, and the South End are all great (and flat!) Boston Neighborhoods. Photo by Sfoskett at English Wikipedia (Own work) [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

2. South End

Just below the Back Bay lies a similarly flat and beautiful neighborhood, Boston’s South End. This area features easy access to downtown and charming residential architecture. The South End has more of a neighborhood feel than its more expensive northern neighbor. But it’s just as flat and features some of the best restaurants (and luxury living options) in the entire city.

3. MIT

While technically not one of the Boston neighborhoods we’ve mentioned, this Cambridge area around Massachusetts Institute of Technology is one of the area’s flattest, with its elevation never surpassing eight or so feet before reaching Central Square.

The issue for Irving here, however, is that while the physical layout of the neighborhood may conform to his worldview, it’s likely that the attitudes of his neighbors will not.